Jokes-a-Galore

[lakay509]

Today's Joke

Two older women who were rivals in a social circle met at a party.

"My dear," said the first woman "Are those real pearls?"

"They are," replied the second woman.

"Of course the only way I could tell would be for me to bite them." Smiled the first.

The second responded "Yes, but for that you would need real teeth."

[chantoutou]

lollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll , sil pa gin bon dan, li pap janm konnin si se bon pearl or fake.
good 1 Lakay.

[lakay509]

Today's joke...

A beautiful, sexy, good looking lady was sitting next to a guy in a plane...... The lady said to him ' Can you help me remove something from my breast please? ‘The exciting young man replied, 'Wow! It will be my pleasure....... So what is it?' "Your Eyes, idiot!"


Let me add that nowadays it should be that my eyes have nothing else to see because those breasts are in the way of looking at anything else...I turn left, they are there, I turn right, here they are, I look up, here they come crashing on my face, I look down, they are crawling on the floor. Those breasts are omnipresent.

[lakay509]

Maybe you will like this one:

Here's a type of resume/career direction you may want to avoid...

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that, I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.

Then, I tried to be a chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

Next, was a job in a shoe factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

So, I retired and I found I am perfect for the job!

[chantoutou]

lollllllllllllllll, se vre wi lakay, gin nan medame sa yo papa, se tou nu yo mache, yo di konsa ,"you got to show what you're Mama gave you"
but, mwen prefere le to kor-a sere epi pou gason ap guess kisam pote, o lye poum lagel ater konsa.lakaye ler konsa pitanm ouver jew tout lajer founi nannan jew andedan tete yo all the way.

[lakay509]

While cleaning the attic, Joan and Harry found an old stub for some shoes they left at the repair shop 10 years ago. They thought it would be funny to go to the shop and see if the shoes were still there. So they did. They handed the stub to the repair man who took it and looked in the back. He came out again and said, "They'll be ready on Wednesday."